LearnaBytes

In this part of the session, the participants will explore what self-management looks like (and what it does not look like). To do this the participants will look at two demonstrations to identify what is and is not self-management behaviour.

Tell them that:

• A good question to ask and answer is, what does self-management look like?
• There are lots of examples of self-management we can look at but for our purpose in this session, we will observe two demonstrations to see what is or is not self-management.

Let them know that you and a willing volunteer are going to demonstrate a conversation while the rest of them observe the conversation.

After each demonstration, the observers will discuss what they observed to identify the presence or absence of self-management behaviour.

To start, ask for a volunteer to demonstrate the conversation with you. The first conversation you are going to demonstrate is in the part of their workbook titled – THE DYSFUNCTIONAL 1:1.

WORKBOOK – THE DYSFUNCTIONAL 1:1

After you’ve got a volunteer for a demonstration, tell them that, apart from the volunteer the rest of the participants will observe the demonstration. And after the demonstration they will be put into pairs for 5-minutes to discuss and answer the questions in the part of their workbooks titled – REFLECTING ON THE FIRST DEMONSTRATION.

WORKBOOK – REFLECTING ON THE FIRST DEMONSTRATION

Do the demonstration, with you (facilitator) acting as Larry and the volunteer acting as Sophia. Each of you will read your respective lines from the script while the other participants observe.

After that, use the ‘breakout rooms’ feature to put the observers into pairs (you may put the participant who volunteered into one of the pairs too) and give them 5-minutes for the activity in the part of their workbook titled – REFLECTING ON THE FIRST DEMONSTRATION.

After 5-minutes, stop them and bring everyone back to the main room.

Ask each pair for a quick summary of their discussions which covers the four questions and listen to them.

The conclusion should be that Larry did not demonstrate self-management behaviour. During the conversation, he became angry and upset and those emotions caused him to behave in an impulsive way by using negative language such as ‘you are becoming defensive’ and ‘you are not listening…’.

Let them know that you are going to repeat the exact same exercise again with a second conversation between Larry and Sophia which is in the part of their workbook titled – LARRY TRIES AGAIN.

Again, do the demonstration with you the facilitator acting as Larry and the volunteer acting as Sophia and let the rest of the participants observe the demonstration.

After the demonstration just as you did previously, put them into pairs for 5-minutes to discuss and answer the questions in the part of their workbooks titled – REFLECTING ON THE SECOND DEMONSTRATION.

WORKBOOK – REFLECTING ON THE SECOND DEMONSTRATION

Use the ‘breakout rooms’ feature to put them into pairs and give them 5-minutes for the activity.

Ask each pair for a quick summary of their discussions which covers the four questions and listen to them.

Thank them for doing the activity and tell them that:

• While Larry behaved differently in the second demonstration, the self-management skills he demonstrated which resulted in him behaving differently were not obvious.
• What if we could actually hear Larry tell us about what he was doing while speaking to Sophia.
• Let’s imagine that Larry gave feedback about his conversation with Sophia to the person who introduced him to emotional intelligence, what would Larry have told him?
• Let’s read what Larry said.

Direct each of them to the section in their workbooks titled – FEEDING BACK TO BRIAN.

WORKBOOK – FEEDING BACK TO BRIAN

Give them up to 5-minutes to read the information there and afterwards tell them to write in the chat window the actions they feel Larry took to demonstrate self-management.

As they write their actions in the chat window, read through them quietly so you don’t distract them.

After 3-minutes stop them and read out all their actions so everyone can see. Then tell them that what Larry did is part of six simple actions that we can all take to improve our self-management for emotional intelligence and you are going to share those actions with them now.

In the next part of the session the participants will explore the six actions.