This is a continuation of the training session on Self-Management for Emotional Intelligence. You can access the previous part of the session here.

Tell them that:

  • I want you to think about how you can apply some of the six actions we have talked about to your own self-management.
  • We are going to do a reflective section where I make some statements and ask you questions, and you reflect on them.
  • If you want to write your answers down, there is space in your workbook in the section titled – REFLECTING ON YOUR OWN SELF-MANAGEMENT.


Let them know that you are ready to start the reflective session. Read out the following statements to them:

  • Think about situations that put you under pressure. Situations that make you feel anxious.
  • Write one of such situations down. Describe the situation and think about how you felt in the situation. What feelings were you aware of?
  • Next, think about those feelings. In order for the feelings not to make you respond impulsively what can you do?
  • Can you take deep breaths and count to ten so that you can regain your composure, re-focus, and think clearly?
  • Think about someone that you find difficult to engage with. It may be at work or outside of work. Maybe your conversations often lead to conflicts or arguments.
  • As you think about that person right now, what self-talk do you have about them in your head? Do you see the person in a negative light? Maybe you see them as challenging, difficult, unreasonable, or impossible.
  • What would happen if you decided to check your self-talk about the person and recognise the ‘not-so-helpful’ views you hold about them.
  • The next time you need to talk to this person what if you decide to see the conversation as a learning opportunity. An opportunity to learn something about yourself and the other person.
  • Instead of seeing it as a potentially difficult conversation or engagement. See it as an opportunity to be curious about the person. An opportunity to open your mind to learn from them, suspend any negative talk you have in your head, pay them attention, and listen.
  • Yes, they may say something that pushes your trigger buttons but remember to stay aware of your emotions and then to remain in control, do some deep breaths and count to ten.
  • Think about that challenging situation you may be dealing with right now. Maybe it’s a project or a decision you need to make. The situation may be causing you to have strong emotions such as anger or even fear.
  • Would it help to sleep on it? Give yourself an opportunity to really think about it. Write the emotions you are having about the issue and then think about why you are feeling that way.
  • It may also help to talk to someone who is not emotionally vested in the situation. Listen to their objective view and think about it.
  • The point of this reflective exercise is to help you think about how you can apply the self-management actions to day-to-day situations.
  • To help you deal with your self-talk, to help you take good deep breaths and count to 10 when necessary.
  • To help you see encounters as learning opportunities instead of negative engagements.
  • To help you sleep on things when necessary and ask for other people’s points of view.

After that, end the reflective session and be quiet for about 90-seconds without saying anything.

Then ask them for questions and / or comments. Listen to anything they have to say and respond if necessary.

Tell them that there is one other self-management action you want to tell them about, and it’s called the ‘emotion vs. reason list’.

Display the slide titled – EMOTIONS VS. REASON LIST.

Click on the slide once and read out the information on the screen.

Click on the slide again to display more information and allow them to read the information for about 10-seconds before you click on the slide a final time for them to read the last bit of information.

Then let them know that before we conclude you want to share with them information about two people whom their teams said display good levels of self-management.

Let them know that they’ve done a bit of reading, so you want to read the information out to them. It is in their workbooks.

Display the section in their workbooks titled – WHAT SELF-MANAGEMENT LOOKS LIKE.


Read out the information on the screen so they can all hear.

After you finish reading it, ask them for any comments and/or questions and respond appropriately.

After that move on to the final part of the session.

In the final part of the session, participants will review and reflect on what was discussed during the session.

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