LearnaBytes

This is a continuation of the training session on Self-Management for Emotional Intelligence. You can access the previous part of the session here.

Display the slide titled – REVIEW.

Tell them that:

• During this session, we described what self-management is.
• We also identified and explored six actions you can take to develop your own self-management.
• You had the opportunity to discuss some demonstrations of what was and was not self-management behaviour.
• We also had a reflective session that allowed you to think about your own self-management.
• Before we close the session, you will do one final reflective activity to help you think about what you are taking away from this session to apply in real life.

Display the slide titled – START – STOP – CONTINUE.

Direct them to the part of their workbooks titled – START – STOP – CONTINUE. Give them 6-minutes to read the information there and do the reflective activity.

WORKBOOK – STOP – START – CONTINUE

When the time is up, stop them and get everyone’s attention. Thank them for taking the time to do the reflective activity. Ask each participant to share at least one thing from their reflection

Listen to them without commenting or asking any questions.

After that, thank them for their participation and close the session.

This is the end of the session.

This is a continuation of the training session on Self-Management for Emotional Intelligence. You can access the previous part of the session here.

Tell them that:

• I want you to think about how you can apply some of the six actions we have talked about to your own self-management.
• We are going to do a reflective section where I make some statements and ask you questions, and you reflect on them.
• If you want to write your answers down, there is space in your workbook in the section titled – REFLECTING ON YOUR OWN SELF-MANAGEMENT.

WORKBOOK – REFLECTING ON YOUR OWN SELF-MANAGEMENT

Let them know that you are ready to start the reflective session. Read out the following statements to them:

• Think about situations that put you under pressure. Situations that make you feel anxious.
• Write one of such situations down. Describe the situation and think about how you felt in the situation. What feelings were you aware of?
• Next, think about those feelings. In order for the feelings not to make you respond impulsively what can you do?
• Can you take deep breaths and count to ten so that you can regain your composure, re-focus, and think clearly?
• Think about someone that you find difficult to engage with. It may be at work or outside of work. Maybe your conversations often lead to conflicts or arguments.
• As you think about that person right now, what self-talk do you have about them in your head? Do you see the person in a negative light? Maybe you see them as challenging, difficult, unreasonable, or impossible.
• What would happen if you decided to check your self-talk about the person and recognise the ‘not-so-helpful’ views you hold about them.
• The next time you need to talk to this person what if you decide to see the conversation as a learning opportunity. An opportunity to learn something about yourself and the other person.
• Instead of seeing it as a potentially difficult conversation or engagement. See it as an opportunity to be curious about the person. An opportunity to open your mind to learn from them, suspend any negative talk you have in your head, pay them attention, and listen.
• Yes, they may say something that pushes your trigger buttons but remember to stay aware of your emotions and then to remain in control, do some deep breaths and count to ten.
• Think about that challenging situation you may be dealing with right now. Maybe it’s a project or a decision you need to make. The situation may be causing you to have strong emotions such as anger or even fear.
• Would it help to sleep on it? Give yourself an opportunity to really think about it. Write the emotions you are having about the issue and then think about why you are feeling that way.
• It may also help to talk to someone who is not emotionally vested in the situation. Listen to their objective view and think about it.
• The point of this reflective exercise is to help you think about how you can apply the self-management actions to day-to-day situations.
• To help you deal with your self-talk, to help you take good deep breaths and count to 10 when necessary.
• To help you see encounters as learning opportunities instead of negative engagements.
• To help you sleep on things when necessary and ask for other people’s points of view.

After that, end the reflective session and be quiet for about 90-seconds without saying anything.

Then ask them for questions and / or comments. Listen to anything they have to say and respond if necessary.

Tell them that there is one other self-management action you want to tell them about, and it’s called the ‘emotion vs. reason list’.

Display the slide titled – EMOTIONS VS. REASON LIST.

Click on the slide once and read out the information on the screen.

Click on the slide again to display more information and allow them to read the information for about 10-seconds before you click on the slide a final time for them to read the last bit of information.

Then let them know that before we conclude you want to share with them information about two people whom their teams said display good levels of self-management.

Let them know that they’ve done a bit of reading, so you want to read the information out to them. It is in their workbooks.

Display the section in their workbooks titled – WHAT SELF-MANAGEMENT LOOKS LIKE.

WORKBOOK – WHAT SELF-MANAGEMENT LOOKS LIKE

Read out the information on the screen so they can all hear.

After you finish reading it, ask them for any comments and/or questions and respond appropriately.

After that move on to the final part of the session.

In the final part of the session, participants will review and reflect on what was discussed during the session.

This is a continuation of the training session on Self-Management for Emotional Intelligence. You can access the previous part of the session here.

Display the slide titled – SIX ACTIONS FOR SELF-MANAGEMENT.

After the slide displays, information will appear on the slide automatically. As the information appears, tell them that:

• Here are six actions that can help our self-management and some of them were used by Larry. They are:
  • Take charge of your self-talk
  • See every encounter as a learning opportunity
  • Breath right
  • Count to ten
  • Speak to someone not emotionally invested
  • Sleep on it

After that direct them to the section in their workbooks titled – SIX ACTIONS FOR SELF-MANAGEMENT.

WORKBOOK – SIX ACTIONS FOR SELF-MANAGEMENT

Give them up to 5-minutes to read the information there. After they finish reading ask them for any comments and/or questions about the six actions and listen to any that they have.

Only respond if necessary.

Next, tell them that you want them to reflect on their own self-management.

In the next part of the session, participants will have the opportunity to reflect on their own self-management.

In this part of the session, the participants will explore what self-management looks like (and what it does not look like). To do this the participants will look at two demonstrations to identify what is and is not self-management behaviour.

Tell them that:

• A good question to ask and answer is, what does self-management look like?
• There are lots of examples of self-management we can look at but for our purpose in this session, we will observe two demonstrations to see what is or is not self-management.

Let them know that you and a willing volunteer are going to demonstrate a conversation while the rest of them observe the conversation.

After each demonstration, the observers will discuss what they observed to identify the presence or absence of self-management behaviour.

To start, ask for a volunteer to demonstrate the conversation with you. The first conversation you are going to demonstrate is in the part of their workbook titled – THE DYSFUNCTIONAL 1:1.

WORKBOOK – THE DYSFUNCTIONAL 1:1

After you’ve got a volunteer for a demonstration, tell them that, apart from the volunteer the rest of the participants will observe the demonstration. And after the demonstration they will be put into pairs for 5-minutes to discuss and answer the questions in the part of their workbooks titled – REFLECTING ON THE FIRST DEMONSTRATION.

WORKBOOK – REFLECTING ON THE FIRST DEMONSTRATION

Do the demonstration, with you (facilitator) acting as Larry and the volunteer acting as Sophia. Each of you will read your respective lines from the script while the other participants observe.

After that, use the ‘breakout rooms’ feature to put the observers into pairs (you may put the participant who volunteered into one of the pairs too) and give them 5-minutes for the activity in the part of their workbook titled – REFLECTING ON THE FIRST DEMONSTRATION.

After 5-minutes, stop them and bring everyone back to the main room.

Ask each pair for a quick summary of their discussions which covers the four questions and listen to them.

The conclusion should be that Larry did not demonstrate self-management behaviour. During the conversation, he became angry and upset and those emotions caused him to behave in an impulsive way by using negative language such as ‘you are becoming defensive’ and ‘you are not listening…’.

Let them know that you are going to repeat the exact same exercise again with a second conversation between Larry and Sophia which is in the part of their workbook titled – LARRY TRIES AGAIN.

Again, do the demonstration with you the facilitator acting as Larry and the volunteer acting as Sophia and let the rest of the participants observe the demonstration.

After the demonstration just as you did previously, put them into pairs for 5-minutes to discuss and answer the questions in the part of their workbooks titled – REFLECTING ON THE SECOND DEMONSTRATION.

WORKBOOK – REFLECTING ON THE SECOND DEMONSTRATION

Use the ‘breakout rooms’ feature to put them into pairs and give them 5-minutes for the activity.

Ask each pair for a quick summary of their discussions which covers the four questions and listen to them.

Thank them for doing the activity and tell them that:

• While Larry behaved differently in the second demonstration, the self-management skills he demonstrated which resulted in him behaving differently were not obvious.
• What if we could actually hear Larry tell us about what he was doing while speaking to Sophia.
• Let’s imagine that Larry gave feedback about his conversation with Sophia to the person who introduced him to emotional intelligence, what would Larry have told him?
• Let’s read what Larry said.

Direct each of them to the section in their workbooks titled – FEEDING BACK TO BRIAN.

WORKBOOK – FEEDING BACK TO BRIAN

Give them up to 5-minutes to read the information there and afterwards tell them to write in the chat window the actions they feel Larry took to demonstrate self-management.

As they write their actions in the chat window, read through them quietly so you don’t distract them.

After 3-minutes stop them and read out all their actions so everyone can see. Then tell them that what Larry did is part of six simple actions that we can all take to improve our self-management for emotional intelligence and you are going to share those actions with them now.

In the next part of the session the participants will explore the six actions.

In this part of the session, the participants will review what self-management is by a reading and summarising activity. Let them know that before you start looking at actions they can take to develop their self-management skills, they will review what self-management is. To do this direct everyone to the part of their workbooks titled – REVIEWING SELF-MANAGEMENT

WORKBOOK – REVIEWING SELF-MANAGEMENT

Tell each of them to read the information there. That should take them about 3-minutes. After 3-minutes, stop them and let each person write a summary of what they read in the chat window. Give them another 3-minutes to do that.

Then let them know that you now want to move on to answer the question, what does self-management look like?

In the next part of the session, you will explore what self-management looks like.

INTRODUCE THE SESSION

Introduce the session by sharing the learning objective with them. Display the slide titled – LEARNING OBJECTIVE.

Then tell them that:

• Self-management is one of the four components and core behaviours of emotional intelligence.
• It is the second personal competence together with self-awareness.
• In this session, we are going to look at self-management in more detail.
• First, we will briefly review what it is.
• Then we will explore some actions that can help us develop our self-management skills.

Ask them for any questions and/or comments about what you just said. Listen to any they have and respond appropriately.

Then move on to the first part of the session which is, ‘Reviewing Self-management.’

In the next part of the session, the participants will review what self-management is. They would have discussed it in a previous session (Understanding Emotional Intelligence).

Self-management (read about it here) is a core component of emotional intelligence. It builds on self-awareness and it is our ability to actively choose what we say and do.

Here are six actions we can take to develop our level of self-management.

This week we are focusing on emotional intelligence, specifically the four necessary behaviours of emotional intelligence. In other words, if you want to be an emotionally intelligent person, the four behaviours you need to develop are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

In a previous post, we explored what self-awareness is (read it here).

Today’s leadabyte answers the question, what is self-management?